Solitude and Silence

Getting out of LA was the goal.  I often tell of how there's too much concrete, too much traffic, not enough trees, and no easy escapes to the outdoors.  That's all true, but there's more.  There's more to why I know I needed to leave.  I was comfortable and stuck.  I knew that I had built up so many comfortable distractions that I could not draw close to God.  I was good at my job.  I had a steady paycheck.  I had my own apartment.  I had a nice motorcycle and a goofy car.  I had a big TV, a blue-ray player, and a Wii.  I had money to save.  I had money to spend.  No challenges.  No commitments.  I had surrounded myself with innocent, even good, things.  However, they filled my life leaving no room, rather, no desire to make room, for God or His work.  I was fully aware of the world I created.  I was even fully aware of the eventual destruction.  Radical life change was not the only answer, but I believe it was the best answer.


As I searched for opportunities, God provided the best one:  total abandonment of what I had created.  I kept praying, "Here I am Lord, send me,"  and He did, to a world unlike my own, to a continent I have never desired to go to (in fact, avoided), to a life dependent on Him.  I quit my job.  I left my apartment. I spent my savings.  I even gave up, although temporarily, that nice motorcycle and goofy car.  I tell you this not to give you reason to sign up for the Anthony Angelo Fan Club, but to provide context of the journey I needed, even longed for.  The journey that I am now realizing has much more in store for me than I ever imagined.


Lesson of the Week:  solitude and silence.  The first full week of work has been quite challenging and fruitful.  Every day, it is IJM's SOP (standard operating procedure) to provide the first thirty minutes of the work day in "stillness" - a time set apart to quite our hearts, and let God takes the reigns.  No talking.  No journaling.  No reading.  Not even praying.  A time to listen to the whispers of the Almighty.  A time to recognize Who is at work.  A time to understand the necessity of letting go.  How challenging this has been!  Although I am a relatively quite individual, I've never been the one to sit still very long.  But I'm here, and this is part of why I'm here, so buckle-up.  Sitting still is one challenge, clearing my mind is another, lasting the whole thirty minuets without looking at a clock is yet another.  I still have plenty of room for improvement in all of these areas, but just one week of beginning each day with solitude and silence has increased my desire for God and decreased my desire for myself.  

Villagers take the long, tiring, daily journey to get water

There is a long journey ahead of me, both in seeking justice for the poor and oppressed in Rwanda and reclaiming my heart to God.  It's not an easy road.  It's not a short road.  But it's a necessary road...  a road full of fear, challenges, and tears... a road that leads to life and life abundantly.